I’m not a fan of showers. The party kind. Not the bathing or raining kind. I like those. Sometimes.
I don’t know exactly what it is… actually, yes I do. It’s the silly games and watching one person open gifts while women ooh and ahh. Which, unfortunately, is the meat and potatoes of showers. They make me uncomfortable. Bridal or baby, doesn’t matter. But if I had to choose I’d pick a bridal shower over a baby shower because I’m at least familiar with that subject (being married and all). Comfort levels aside, I still go to the them. I want to be supportive of the guest of honor. I want to be with my family and friends. And I want to eat. I’m not gonna lie, the food gets me there. Just ask Mel. Or Mrs. Rev. They know they can rope me in through my stomach. I’m a sucker for artichoke dip and cake.
Why am I talking about showers? Because I went to a baby shower this past Sunday with my in-laws. The hubs’s cousin is going to be a daddy so the families came together to shower the mom-to-be. A family baby shower. Even so, I could count the people I knew on one hand and let’s just say I’m not known for my networking skills. I felt a bit awkward, but this is where the camera is handy. I took pictures instead of dealing with small talk. It’s selfish but believe me, this makes me more tolerable in the long run.
It never fails, I end up saying stupid stuff to people I don’t know.* Why? Because I always learn new things at baby showers and think these people I don’t know will find my comments witty. They don’t. I wish I didn’t learn new things at these events; I’d be much happier never knowing these things existed. And since I have no plans to be a mommy, there’s really no reason for me to know about gas drops, breast feeding or things that happen before/during/after labor. None. Actually, the more I know the less I like munchkins. This is a great deterrent. Kind of like how I don’t hurt people because I don’t want to go to jail.
Mommy-stuff aside, I need to get over this baby shower thing. I have girlfriends that are chomping at the bit to start families and a few that are ahead of the stretch . And I’m very excited for them because I can will be the one to teach their kids how to pick their nose and say naughty things. Of course I’ll go to their baby showers, hell, I’ll even host it if I don’t have to come up with the games. And I’m happy to be their “photographer” for the afternoon. But there better be food. Good food. And cake – don’t forget the cake. Otherwise, I’ll give ya kiss, toss my gift on the table and be on my way. You can find me at the Homemade Pie & Icecream shop. Because I know they got cake there.
*Point of clarification: I do say stupid stuff to the people I know. They just don’t hold it against me because they know me. Or if I see a sick look of disgust growing on their face, I quickly apologize, walk to another room, pray they forget and then go on with my merry life. Amen.