I do not like horror flicks. They scare me. That being said, I watch every vampire movie I can get my hands on [sans teeny-bopper Twilight]. Just in case I ever meet one; I’ve got to be prepared. I shared this with my brother and Big Bro laid a big one on me, “If you think about it, zombies are more likely to happen. Maybe not ‘zombies’ but definitely zombie-like qualities in humans.” It got me thinking alright.
So I started watching zombie movies. And that was a bad idea.
I hate zombies. Especially zombie movies. Especially zombie movies where the zombies are fast. This, of course, does not include Zombie Land because I found it to be very entertaining and funny. Even though the zombies were fast. It makes me feel queasy just thinking about it.
Fast Anything = Gonna Get Your Ass Chased = Not Cool, Yo
Vampires don’t chase – they lead you to them. Or whip around you so fast your head starts spinning. Zombies chase. End of story.
So Big Bro recommended a book. “Bro, I cannot read a book about zombies. I will have nightmares in my nightmares. Me and zombies are not friends.” He told me the book wasn’t scary and that he really enjoyed it and I need to just read it. So I did. It’s called World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks.
Is it scary? Yes it is.
Not in the sense that it’s horrific or suspenseful but in the sense that it’s realistic. I started reading it back in September and then the nightmares started. I had to stop. My friends were being attacked in my dreams and random hands and arms were falling off. Since I borrow books from the library, I had to return it when someone else wanted to read it but I picked it up again this month to finish the last half. And the nightmares came back. More attacks, more falling body parts and the feeling of being chased. But I trudged through it. I needed to be prepared. And now I know more about zombies. Mission accomplished.
Zombies. Zead-heads. Zachs. The Infected. Reanimated humans. Whatever you want to call them.
They are slow. They are stupid. And all they really want is their next meal. However, they are strong, they are determined and relentless and they pretty much don’t die until you kill their brain. Oh, and they’re disgusting because they bloat and body parts don’t work correctly and it’s just eww.
They don’t need air to breathe so they can live underwater. They don’t need food to survive so they can live a long ass time [even with a deteriorating body or even missing body parts]. Their lack of motor skills means they don’t run, they can’t climb well and don’t know how to use door knobs – experts at busting through doors though. They moan and moans bring more zombies meaning not only do they follow you, they swarm you. *shivers*
Though this book is fictional, it reads realistically. The author [fictionally] interviews several different people to learn about their experiences through the zombie war – from the first recorded case of reanimation to the almost-end of the epidemic. And these “experiences” freaked me out. Like I said, realistic. Realistic, realistic, realistic.
But Big Bro is right – this is more likely to happen than running into vampires. Maybe.