Growing up, I roller skated. Every Friday night, I could be found at Robben’s Roost. I think I started going when I was 10. I didn’t stop until I was about 15. Every Friday night. I loved it. Still do – but I am not going to be the only adult surrounded by hormone-infested teeny boppers. That actually sounds like it could be the beginning of a b-rated horror film. I can picture it: a psycho killer would slowly make his way from the last bathroom stall. The first kids to meet their doom would be making out in the snack bar booth. And then the psycho killer would steal their nachos.
Can’t blame him – I’d steal their nachos too.
Every Friday night though. The jams were always the best: Another One Bites The Dust, Atomic Dog, Flashlight, Slick Rick…
Pace would pick up, people would fall into line and boogie. “Copper caught the robber. Caught the robber.”
And then there were the songs that everyone sang along to: Shoop, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, Whoomp There It Is, your pick of Mariah Carey. The couple skates… didn’t always have someone to skate with but that did not keep me from singing along to Boyz II Men. Or All-4-One. Or Janet Jackson. Or whatever love song graced the radio waves at the time.
There were few songs I didn’t like hearing. Ace of Base would fall into that category. The Sign… why in the world did they play it? Just thinking about makes me cringe. I can’t hear that 500 Miles song without picturing myself on the skate floor. Same with Breakfast at Tiffany’s. They were played far too often.
Yeah, I’d love to go rollerskating again. But now that I’ve thought about it, it just wouldn’t be the same. Besides the fact that I’d be the oldest fart in the room, there’s an extremely important factor that would completely change the experience: the music. You take away those songs I love and the luster would be gone. I have a feeling that Bieber would be played on a loop. And Miley Cyrus. That Ke$ha girl too. And a little Rihanna sprinkled on top.
I’m pretty sure I’d end up being the psychotic one. Gimme your nachos, kid.