Have you ever picked pumpkins when it was 91° outside? I hadn’t either until last Sunday. I’m here to tell you that heat just ruins the experience.
I visited Huber’s Orchard in Starlight, Indiana with some lady friends. There were presents and cake and sangria – more on that later. But hello global warming! Why in the frak is it still HOT in Louisville in October?!
We knew it was supposed to be warm. It was frickin hot. Miserably hot. I’ve never been to Huber’s in October and seen so many people wear shorts and tank tops. I’ve never been to Huber’s in October and seen so many people sweat through their long sleeves because they apparently missed the weather report that morning. They missed the mostly-wrong-most-of-the-time weatherman saying that we’d experience record heat. Record heat indeed, my friends. The previous record was 89° – we hit 91º. Hoowah.
All heat and no rain. That makes for a dusty tractor ride to the pumpkin patch. We were covered. The kahuna was covered. My wipe cloth just wasn’t cutting it. Boo. I wore flip flops. Bad judgment on my part – my feet were caked in dust like I’d be playing on a beach all day. I wish I had been playing on a beach all day. That sounds like a solid plan. Most of the pumpkins looked good. Some others…. not so much.
Back on pavement, it smelled like autumn. But it sure as hell didn’t feel like it. Mmm… pumpkin donuts… too bad I feel like I’m frying with them. Yummy apple bread… with icing melting because the sun is blaring the heat of a thousand aim-n-flames. Candy corn… dammit, it’s all stuck together… I blame Al Gore. I didn’t get a pumpkin on Sunday. Because I didn’t want to break a sweat carrying it to the car. And because I had the kahuna in one hand and sangria in the other. And with my luck, it’d be rotten from the heat.