Year 31

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The years are passing faster and faster. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 365 days since I celebrated my milestone last year with several lovely people. I told myself that 30 was going to be great… and it had it’s high points… but there was a lot that I wasn’t prepared for.

Like leaving the job I’d had for years… I loved being a DRTV buyer… but it was time to part ways. And starting a new job… a new place with new people and buckets full of data. There’s also an extra five pounds that happened somewhere in between. Plus theses dark circles and thin lines that have somehow appeared under my eyes. My acne has gotten worse with age. My hands look older. My skin feels… elastic-ky. There was the smash-and-grab in Atlanta. Anxiety has become an issue. (I’ve never felt anxiety the way I do now. What’s up with that?) And most recently, losing my husband’s Aunt Shirley late last week. (We’re still working through that last one.)

But those were the cards that were dealt, the ones I chose to play. Things could have gone differently, but who’s to say it would have been better? So I’ve decided that since I wasn’t completely sold on year 30, year 31 will outshine it completely. Leaves will be turned over. I’m going outside my comfort zone. I’m going to make things happen instead of just wishing they would. This year will be MY year to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Anti-wrinkle cream is at the top of that list.

I’m starting tonight. Birthday night. I have plans to meet up with my friend, Nazzie, and get fitted for running shoes. The C25K app is already on my phone, I’ve solved the iMac-to-Droid-phone music transfer mystery and I’ve even got an itch to visit a small gym near us to see if it’s worth while. And with the harassment I’ve received just to get shoes, I’m sure Nazzie will keep me in check. My goal with this whole thing [that could possibly be a catastrophe] is to make myself feel good – less stress, less anxiety, which I hope means fewer constellations appearing on my face. If I happen to lose a few pounds in the process, I won’t cry. But that’s just the start.

I have an entire sheet filled with goals I’d like accomplish in the next year that go beyond improving the fleshy part of me. Business goals, goals to enhance our home life, things to do, people to hug, big changes, small ones too. Don’t take offense, year 30, but it’s time to bite the bullet and get over this getting older thing. I’m all over you, year 31 – bring it.